Don't let anyone else define your success. And don't play the comparison game.
This morning, a "rando" (random person) on Twitter (TWTR) called out Rev Shark and I. The basis: "Do these guys make more money than..."
That type of question/comparison ranks right up there with: "Bet I could kick your butt."
It's using a single characteristic to define. One case is money. One case is strength. In either case, neither singularly defines a person, their happiness, or their success. That's why the comparison game is so dangerous. That's why worrying about someone else's success only gets in the way of your own.
When trading, it's easy to catch yourself looking over your shoulder when we're not staring at our P-n-L statement (don't obsess on this either). The problem is no one else's situation is the same as yours. Their risk tolerance, their goals, their needs in life, their time frame, their resources, and so on down the line. Look, you give me a young twenty-something who lives alone and compare that to a fifty-year-old, married with two kids, a dog, and a mortgage, and I'm likely going to find two traders with very different goals and risk tolerances.
Those with little depending on them and the ability to minimize costs can swing for the fences. If they blow up an account or three, they have lots of time to recover. If the thought of retirement or the worries about college costs sit less than a decade away, you probably don't have time to blow up an account.
There's a huge temptation right now to get sucked into the large profit and losses statements being posted on Twitter. I see plenty of five-figure, six-figure, and seven-figure gains posted every day. Some never even showing a single day down. Are they real? I have no idea. I'm guessing some of them are. If you gather a big enough flock to follow you around, the shepherd is never worried about getting picked off by the wolf. The herd is another story, but they are there to feed you, cloth you, and keep you in business. Taking care of them only serves as a mean to your ends, not theirs.
So, it becomes a dangerous game to compare or chase what you're seeing because your situation is not the same.
Part of the reason several of us talk about journals and notes and having a critique partner you can trust is to avoid these traps. But it will also help you define what success means to you. When I look back, it's seldom about just making money. Being profitable day in and day out is absolutely there; however, I'm also looking at how I handled my losses and my mistakes. Did I learn? Did I improve? That's not the extent of my list, though.
I like to teach and to help. If I've failed at that, it doesn't matter how much money I made.
The same goes for spending time with my family and teaching my kids life lessons. If I fail at that, again, money doesn't matter.
Your trading journey doesn't have to be a zero-sum game. When you disagree with someone's position, don't be afraid to state why you disagree and ask them to rationalize theirs, but doing so with a little respect or decency will go a long way. Maybe you'll learn something or maybe you will help someone else.
But no matter what the case, don't let them define you or your trading success.
