I've never hidden my love for reality football, meaning the type of football other people call fantasy but I take it way too seriously to go by that fictional rubric.
So with another placid day for the averages, it's time for me to show my reality -- not fantasy -- stock team for all to see, the one I drafted in my head last night while I was busy putting together what could be a championship Skidaddy Ski team that competes in the Mad Money Schlumpadicka league.
I am hoping, after being bounced in the semis last year, to go back to my dynastic form, when I won two Super Bowls, back to back. With Odell Beckham Jr., Brandin Cooks and Russell Wilson, I know I have the makings of a strong squad, but this is Cramerica, not Schlumpadicka, so let's go right to the videotape of my stock draft.
First, even though we don't draft quarterbacks first unless they are Tom Brady, I am doing so because we all know that Apple AAPL is the Brady of stocks, an ineluctable force that's ageless. If there is a rap against Brady, it's that he's an immobile passer. The rap against Apple is it is just mobile. I look at Apple as the greatest consumer products company of all time, just as I look at Brady as the greatest quarterback of all time, and even though Apple CEO Tim Cook went to Auburn while Brady was a walk-on at Michigan, Cook's a War Eagle and playing against him is like playing in Death Valley.
We are in a wide-receiver league and you need fleet-of-foot players who stand 6-5 and aren't afraid of traffic. That's why we are going with Amazon (AMZN) , Netflix (NFLX) and Nvidia (NVDA) . Look, Amazon is a flex play in that it's got a running back business, Amazon Web Services, that consistently delivers points and is a total red-zone beast, and the retail business, which reminds me of Antonio Brown. You can't cover this company unless you are short it and then you better. I keep waiting for another player to have an answer to Amazon, but there isn't one.
Next wide-out? Netflix. We know this is the Odell Beckham Jr. of companies because it makes one-handed catches with ease and every production is a touchdown. Classic investors don't like the style of Netflix -- too unorthodox, too showboat. But I don't care how a player acts off the field. Netflix is on a whole 'nother plane, a winner who constantly breaks out when you least expect it to, like yesterday when it rallied four points on nothing. That's just broken coverage. We don't know how Netflix stays open, but it's changed the game of entertainment forever.
Our last wide receiver is a monster with mojo, Nvidia. A lot of people thought the last quarter for Nvidia was weak, but you know Megatron in his time had some weak quarters, too. The truth is that Nvidia has the hallmark of the kind of company that could be headed for Canton, yes, a future Hall-of-Famer because its chips are at the vanguard of so many secular stories, whether it be the hottest game in the world, the Nintendo Switch, whether it be autonomous cars or artificial intelligence or, of course, voice, which is the holy grail of all applications right now.
It's tough to keep Nvidia down. I thought there was nothing wrong with the quarter. There was a product transition and that's the equivalent of a dropped ball. But like all great receivers, Nvidia's shaken off the drop and is headed back toward an all-time high.
You can never have enough running backs, I am talking about companies that actually look overvalued now, but later in the season you won't regret that you paid these prices. That's why Alphabet (GOOGL) and Facebook (FB) fit in so well. They look expensive now but on next year's numbers they are actually very cheap because they are beat-and-raisers from way back.
There is a perception that Alphabet has lost its way. Some are even suggesting that it's no longer an every-down back, or even that it might be gassed with nothing left in the tank. I think that's nonsense. It had some character issues with YouTube, but I think they are getting past them. In truth, while it's been stalled at these levels, it's always one block away from a breakout. Or put it this way, you don't want another team to take this company ahead of you any more than you would want Le'Veon Bell taken by another if he's on the board when you are on the clock. Can you imagine if he has another year like the last one?
Facebook's a stud. I don't even know if there is an analog in the NFL, as I have never seen anything like this company. This is a company that has you making all of its content, and the more sophisticated the devices are to make it, the better the content. Facebook's one of those backs that gets all-purpose yards for doing nothing but being a platform for 2 billion people. No NFL player has ever had that kind of pull. The only company that can stop Facebook is Instagram, and Facebook owns it!
Some underrate defense special teams. Not me, which is why I am picking the strongest stock in the Dow, Boeing (BA) , which has a fabulous defense business, and of course it's a special commercial aerospace company. I know we are only playing for the season, but this company has an order book that's more than a decade long; reminds me of Darren Sproles, who just won't quit no matter what. Ageless.
You may think I am picking too much tech and not enough healthcare, which is why I am going with United Health UNH for tight end. Why UNH? Because great tight ends not only catch, they block. I think that Optum, its amazing data business, is the authority on catching what's flawed in the system and nobody blocks wasteful costs like United Health. They should call UNH Gronk. Got me?
Finally, we need a kicker and I want a financial tech company to do it, which is Visa (V) . Why Visa? First, its consistency and no big-time player, save MasterCard (MA) , has given you this level of consistency. I think Visa would be 20 for 20 from the 50. That's exactly what we need. Sure, many think kickers are interchangeable, hence the MasterCard offer, but I want Dow stock Visa on my team.
Of course, we have a bench, and I would like to bring in an Alibaba (BABA) backup quarterback, and some spare flexers, like a Celgene (CELG) or an Autodesk (ADSK) or a 3M (MMM) and Honeywell (HON) . These are all defensible picks, good midlevel picks. Finally, I want some sleepers, maybe a bargain like a Broadcom (AVGO) or a sink-or-swim shot like a Bluebird (BLUE) , some potential moonshot. (Apple, Nvidia, Alphabet, Facebook and Broadcom are part of TheStreet's Action Alerts PLUS portfolio.)
Overall, though, as you can see, this team is built for the ages, not just a season. Yes, it's a bullish team, not as defensive as some would make. You can keep some cash on the sidelines for a decline. But if you wanted a playoff-ready team, it's this one and it's seasoned, ready, stacked and loaded.